I went to Intervarsity tonight,the topic was “True Love.” A very cute couple from Eau Claire came to speak to usand as I listened, and watched them interact, heard what they said, i found an affirmation.

I am truely in love with Him.

Beyond lust,
beyond infautuation,

beyond just romance.

I love him.

He has become part of my life,a part of me is always just thinking of him. and it’s beyond those warm shiny feelings of new relationship, gosh, it’s been almostten months since I met him at the re-release of Star Wars.

It’s a down deep thing. Kinda like a backbone, holding me up, giving me courage, something tolean against.I know i seem to be droning on, but the depth of this thing that i’ve fallen into has begunto amaze me. a Lot…

Last week i felt hindered, smothered, tethered but it was justmy old barriers trying to reassert themselves.

Oh my private person, so afraid of being hurt

Oh my secret self, so sure of her unworthiness

Oh my silent conversations,
with my silent self, who dreampt
so deeply of love, but was leery of
reaching out for whatwas being offered.

I can no longer choose to love him.
I can only love him.
and I do