I’ll add to this entry later, but what I’ve been working on is this

Lance,

Yes you, my co-worker. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

You have been driving me up the wall, do you realize this?

I have attempted to treat you well this summer, I enjoy your humor(most of the time)

So why have you been treating me so badly?

What is the point of your infantile allegations? Where does this get us?

Do you realize that in the 10 secs after I had first met you, my frosh year, the ten seconds before I was informed that you were dating someone, I actually thought you might be fun to date?


And seeing that as no option, I treated you as a friend. Why are you treating me as dirt?

I am not ignoring you, I am not ignoring you, can you hear me say it?

Can you believe me when I say it?

Recently, I have grown way overtired off the jibes you push my way, and having decided to ride the storm and not respond. I hear, I catalog, and have attempted to go on.


WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR FRIENDSHIP. You used to treat me as if I held some value, I am not used to being treated the way you treat me. You say you do not hold grudges, blah you lie, I really didn’t realize I had slighted you last week.

If I shrugged it off like it was nothing THAT IS BECAUSE IT WAS NOTHING.

What is it with you? I want to know, I want to know.

I hated to be picked on, I hate to be left behind. But, my friend, I find it very difficult to hate people. I respect your talent in programming, and your humor.

Why kind of apology were you giving me when you said “I feel our production level in the office, my production level dropped when you entered”

What in the world am I supposed to do about YOUR production level.

I really wanted to hit you today, just throw out my arm and hit you, mentally, my fists were clenched. I was close to seeing red.

That is why I had to leave for a walk. It has been several months since I have been that angry at anyone, Do you understand how hard it is for me to hate people?

But with every day I feel less and less the need to reconcile with you.

What can I say to you, that would make you understand?

I feel like you no longer consider me your friend, and you must not, the way you verbally
walk over me, the way you back out of every offer to help. I needed help to move in, I understand you have your own problems, I’d even care.

But just tell me if you don’t want to help, just say no, just

I’m afraid I can’t take much more of this. I’m afraid I’ve misjudged you, misplaced my friendship in you. And I’m sorry I didn’t want to live with a zillon people, and I’m sorry I make more cash than you, and I’m sorry you haven’t got that special someone that you want.


But just DEAL, get over it, get over my alleged trangressions. I didn’t mean most of them anyway. And If I get more caustic as the days go by, it’s because I’m really really tired of the way you’re treating me, and I have begun to fight back a little bit.

–Stacie