Last night I motored my flagship home to Madison.

I left late, because I had trouble motivating myself to finish packing.

So, after finishing the book, Jonhad lent me, and playing several 3d0 video games,(Road Rash, some game with Tia Carrea(sp?) and Out of this World), I just grabbed my dirty clothes basket and my half-packed bag of traveling stuff(makeup, brush, hairdryer, nylon shorts, sleep shirt and some extra shirt thing.) and left.

I love to drive my car, I love to drive, but somehow, just getting out the door, those 300 feet to my car, is the hardest part of my whole trip.

I love to sing in the car, as loud as I can, so the radio or some random tape(old tapes because I only buy cd’s now)is always playing.

But the radio last night brought forth a very old memory.

The commercial break featured a moose in sunglasses and a whole slew of singing forest critters(I kid you not) they sang about pouring water on your campfire and stirring it with a stick to make sure it was out. Smokey the Bear’s friends, go figure.

Smokey the Bear always reminds me of Girl Scouts. But not because we sang songs about stirring wet campfires, or even camping trips with thirty
other giggly scouts. I remember a sleepover in a mall, somewhere, I was very young and prolly a Brownie scout. It’s a real neat memory. For some reason we had the run of the mall, (many troops I remember), all the stores were barred up, but there
were sleeping bags and games and prizes and activites all over. I think my mother was there
with me, I’ll have to ask her. I think I won a Smokey the Bear comic book at the bingo activity.
The whole thing made a real impression on me, because I can remember the general layout
of the mall and a wooden bench by the bingo. One other thing from that memory was the novelty of being able to use the men’s restroom, because of course there were no men at this sleepover and also because the lines were so long into the women’s.

Remember, Only You can prevent forest fires.

Stacie

P.S.–ATTN DELUSIONAL GIRL, DM Cmod pages have been updated, please

check them out and tell me what you think. We need to rock on it,

we have potential of losing client…

My Cam came last night, and I spent many hours (5-11:30) playing with it.

Today I am at work, and on my 3rd cup of really good coffee. Having a great day, although my Quixcam is having problems refreshing.

No matter, I’m going home tonight, so I won’t be able to play with it much.

…

ROCK,ROCK,ROCK,ROCK!

My NewsWriting Class let out an hour early today, with no quiz!

I even had got to class on time with my assignment printed out!

Walking to class I had this feeling that today would be exciting, or interesting, or something!

That’s possibly the anticipation of my web cam, and contacts, which both should be in the mail by now. Packages, packages, I want my packages! Yi yi yi yi yi

Mmm, and my Prmom-writing class is only going to be for an hour also.

I have a lot of little things I need to accomplish tonight.

“Baby,”Boy says,”Writing is good…” I realize that my additude towards NewsWriting is a poor one, I don’t wanna do the work, so I don’t prepare, which makes me feel even more inept, which leads to me not liking it and…Well, if I just push myself a bit I know I could ace the course. It’s really the hardest thing this semester and that’s not saying much. It’s a form of writing.

I put my body through pain and stretching to learn Aikido, a form of moving, thinking and reacting. There is no way that Newswriting can be more difficult than that. I just need to bite down and stretch my writing skills, conform to AP and simply do it. Losing my snooze bar and being on time might also help.

Speaking of pain, I was almost in tears last night. I have found the thing that disrupts my concentration, pain, and fear of further pain. I can roll on my left side with no problem, it’s fun. It’s like somersaults when you were five years old. Momentum and speed and suddenly I’m back up on my feet. But for some reason I can land only on my shoulder when I attempt to roll forward on my right side. I arc my hand over and down towards me, attempting to make a wheel with the curve of my arm, and roll past the blade of my fingers, but something happens wrong. My arm collapes, or I go miss the connection of elbow and floor, or my hand is too close to my body. Whatever it is, is pain, and I in my stubborness attempted again and again to master it. I psyched myself out, I could not see the wheel, I could not feel the blade. And the residual pain from my shoudler disrupted me for the rest of the night…

But I’ll get it!

Time for lunch!

Stacie

I’ve felt a bit detached lately,

Still really tired, I skipped Aikido last night and went to bed at 7:30. I slept till 10:00, when Boy called (bless his heart, I love it when he calls…)Then I was up for an hour because Trevor came over. I then checked my email and went back to sleep–till 7:30 am (including 3 snooze hits). But for some reason I am still tired.

Personally, I hope it’s just hormonal and not some oncoming sickness.

I feel almost like I’ve been out of my body for the last couple days.

Actually I feel more like I’m just visiting or passing through my corporeal self. When I view others they seem so much more together, but are they, most likely not. Surfaces seem so calm though.

I stand in front of my mirror and examine the face of me, I look and sometimes I see a stranger. Who Have I Grown into? Where did this
woman who looks so much like my mother come from? How did she live to be two decades old anyway? How does everyone else see her?

I think sometimes I exaggerate my own flaws and faults and minimize those of others. I feel like, sometimes, I am the unwanted, introverted girl I was years ago, who escaped fully into books and bike riding. Sometimes the mental image of myself is not the somehow beautiful woman I am becoming but rather the awkward junior high student, or the enraged fifth-grader who finds herself up against the world the same way she found herself up against the fifth grade–a fight against them.

Boy makes me feel special, helps me realize who I am. Not that I don’t know, really I suppose, just that sometimes it all gets lost in the mix of
everydays.

Newswriting inspired a bit of poetry called Tripe

QuixCam Update–Still not here, having problems ordering, billing address and all that, soon though, it will be mine!

Have a great night all…

Stacie


Oh, and I’ve started to organize and make navigation easier!

Check out the main pages, Quixotica and Onestep, and the new questions page!