I’ve felt a bit detached lately,

Still really tired, I skipped Aikido last night and went to bed at 7:30. I slept till 10:00, when Boy called (bless his heart, I love it when he calls…)Then I was up for an hour because Trevor came over. I then checked my email and went back to sleep–till 7:30 am (including 3 snooze hits). But for some reason I am still tired.

Personally, I hope it’s just hormonal and not some oncoming sickness.

I feel almost like I’ve been out of my body for the last couple days.

Actually I feel more like I’m just visiting or passing through my corporeal self. When I view others they seem so much more together, but are they, most likely not. Surfaces seem so calm though.

I stand in front of my mirror and examine the face of me, I look and sometimes I see a stranger. Who Have I Grown into? Where did this
woman who looks so much like my mother come from? How did she live to be two decades old anyway? How does everyone else see her?

I think sometimes I exaggerate my own flaws and faults and minimize those of others. I feel like, sometimes, I am the unwanted, introverted girl I was years ago, who escaped fully into books and bike riding. Sometimes the mental image of myself is not the somehow beautiful woman I am becoming but rather the awkward junior high student, or the enraged fifth-grader who finds herself up against the world the same way she found herself up against the fifth grade–a fight against them.

Boy makes me feel special, helps me realize who I am. Not that I don’t know, really I suppose, just that sometimes it all gets lost in the mix of
everydays.

Newswriting inspired a bit of poetry called Tripe

QuixCam Update–Still not here, having problems ordering, billing address and all that, soon though, it will be mine!

Have a great night all…

Stacie


Oh, and I’ve started to organize and make navigation easier!

Check out the main pages, Quixotica and Onestep, and the new questions page!