So, I’ve been meaning and meaning and meaning to write, but sometimes I only feel like writing at specific times, and sometimes
those times are times where I can’t get on my computer, or need to leave to get groceries, or clean or cook ect.



And so the past keeps building up, a heavy weight of words beneath my tongue, waiting for the telling, to be told. After so many get built up
they often escape untold, when I yawn, or sigh.


What does that leave you with? Half-recollections, fragments, and silence?


I am not ignoring you, in the sense that I am not ignoring me. That is, I know I write, and that you read. And even if you never return, I know
I will, to read also. Because…I forget things. Don’t we all? Those tender emotional mountains wear to hills under the everyday travel of our thoughts and dedication to work. If I don’t write some of these things down, and read them later, my memories are like traversing a slightly bumpy road, one that is smoothed over with every second. When I look back on the half-remembered, they extend like fields of grain, flat, uninteresting, with no landmarks or milestones.


My, I’m rambling today, aren’t I.

It’s mostly because I am angry, and cannot explain to you why. It’s frustrating to be insecure about things around this time of the year.


Aside from the angry bits, that only really happened this week, I’ve been relatively happy. We(Mom, Dad, BJ, Carlo, and I) cut down a huge tree, 15 feet huge, for my parents house. We also decorated it on the Saturday after thanksgiving. We joined my family for a huge potluck type thanksgiving, with a lot of people I hadn’t seen in years. The food was great but we bemoaned the fact that we received no leftovers.



We also have a cute little artificial tree, all lit up and decorated with pretty plastic baubles, and a string of lights out on our balcony.



I’m sure there was a good deal more to say, but my mind is clouded over current events. so… yeah…


Have a good weekend.


Somehow, I must keep writing, it feels so essential.


Stacie


p.s. It’s December 1st, time to change your calenders.