Questing

So crazy, I knew this week would just fly. The weekend up at the lake was just what I needed. A much needed respite from general job and wedding planning stress. We went 4wheeling, and took my new 99 jeep wrangler(pictures soon) out in the mud, and spent hours and hours raking leaves and transporting them down the road, getting the ‘cabin’ ready for the summer. Very very relaxing, a good time with everyone, we even got to have a campfire. Carlo made me the perfect S’more. Next time we make it up to the cabin, we’ll be married, ee!


I got to go to the SCA again on Wednesday, I know I haven’t talked much about it lately, but I’m still going, feel free to look for me down at the stock pavilion in Jara, in Northshield. I was going for the heavy weapons, but the upcoming coronet has preoccupied Raito, the weapons marshal. Basically he has no time to train newbies. So I kinda wandered off to the thrown weapons end of the arena. And before I knew it, I was signing paperwork to become a Marshall in Training, I just need one more supervised session, and then I’ll be able to run the range by myself! It’s really nice to run the range, and throw the weapons, near the end, Jack was talking and David and I kept taking more turns at throwing. We were just postponing until we’d have to take down the range. It’s a nice focusing activity, where everything else kinda slides away from my mind, and the whole night of running the range, of yelling commands was totally worth it when I got the blazing arrow knife to stick with a resounding thud.


This week went even faster than I thought it would, suddenly, it’s the end of the month, in just 30 days we’ll be married. Closer than that, things are getting crazy just this weekend. Tomorrow afternoon I have my third dress fitting, and the Becky will be in town, and we have all manner of things to do, some more flowers to buy and perhaps favors to make, and Saturday morning is the bridal shower, apparently there will be quite a large turnout, wow. Then saturday night out with the gals.


Things are sliding so fast, I’m so afraid to miss it all, I’m afraid I’ll blink and miss the ceremony, and everything. It’s fun to plan everything, though stressful, and I know things won’t change drastically after ‘the big day’. But it’s hard not to get worked up sometimes. I guess I hope enough people take pictures so I can look back on things that are going by so fast in a blur.

I love all the little messages you guys are sending me. I’m glad your excited about my wedding, Adam, and Mark. For the person who says my gift list at target is boring,(I think this is a message from Frank, but I’m not sure, names in the messages help!), um, well, you know, house stuff. If you want to see a few more intresting things, check out kohls, or jcpenny’s, or my amazon wish list (shameful plug). Though the amazon list is more just things I want, and not really things we both want, heh. But, more intresting things, I promise.

On the way out the door to go up to the cabin, things are a bit fragmented, but I wanted a little update…

Last night I tried my wedding dress on for my second fitting, I’ve lost even more weight and it’s really looking nice. After the fitting, Wendy, my mother and I looked at veils for me. We found a veil, costing more than my dress, that makes me look like a princess.


Almost everyone got their wedding invitations last week. They look so great, all the reviews are positive.


My Bridal Shower, and Bach. party are next weekend, It’s just going to be absolutely crazy, I can tell. I’m getting very excited about everything!

We’ll see if my Mom decides to build a deck on her house before the shower.


Also, Carlo and I looked at wedding rings last night. woo pretty.


Have a great weekend! Feel free to send my phone text messages, I have the feeling I might be out of range, but I love to get your notes!

I’m having a really good week foodwise. I feel a lot better than my last post. I can do this, I will! The goal for this summer is to get down to the weight that is listed on my driver’s license, before I have to renew it, in August.


In other news, we ordered our invitations online at Rexcraft. They have a really nice website, it takes you through the process, and gives you an online preview of the invitations with your text and font, so you can try different things, very slick. They came really quickly, we have them already, and they look really really great. I’m so excited. I think this weekend holds a great deal of folding and envelope stuffing. Mom is going to call some of her friends to help us hand address the envelopes. Mostly because my handwriting is just horrid. I’m quite envious of beautiful lady’s handwriting. I think I should take a class on it sometime.



Looks like this weekend holds the last true gaming session we’ll prolly get in before the wedding. Commitments picking up. I missed my 2nd dress fitting last night. I’m practically certain we set it up for 7:00, but, they had me written down for 6:30, I almost cried. I had been rushing around for 2 hours (through rush hour traffic. From the center of town, after an adobe publishing seminar), and had to rush home to through on my undergarment body suit thingy, and I rushed up there, with my shirt out, and one shoe untied.


I have lunch with Frank today, yah!


OH, btw, Hellyeah recently launched a new design, and a new article from me on dot com dating.


LoserBoard also launched this week. Please drop by, and leave your losers up for the world to see.


Ageless Project is really dreamy, check it out!


I’m off!

Irritated.

Do you ever get really irritated?

I’m so tired of being able to hear everything in the office. I’m tired of hearing who’s kids are sick, and didn’t sleep last night, I’m tired of hearing voices through my headphones and music. I’m upset that someone felt the need to change my chair this morning. I want to go back to bed, go back to sleep. Or draw, or sew, or read.


Editor’s note. The Irritated Title really only speaks about the above paragraph, and not really about the rest of this entry. Additional Editor’s note. Parents are not encouraged to read this journal. Thankyou for you patronage

I’m a bit out of it, I suppose, due to all our traveling this weekend. We left Saturday night for Eau Claire (3 hours north), for a Mother’s day hoo-hah. Got in at midnight, and Cher and I chatted about wedding stuff till 1:30. Carlo was zonked out on the airbed the whole time, and about halfway through our talking, I started getting out my nightgown and shorts to get ready for bed. She kept talking, I moved over to the bed. She continued talking, I sat down on the bed, more talking. It seemed likely that she was going to crawl into bed with us and keep talking about wedding stuff. But, she eventually went upstairs, goodness. It’s nice that she’s excited about the wedding though, we all are.


Blah, I don’t want to write about this weekend, and I’ve been putting off last week, or 2 weeks of updates. But I should, to remember, and for the nice cleansing effect it has.



This weekend first, I suppose… Well Sunday we all got up and out the door, and went to the Sweetwater’s, in Eau Claire, all 33 or so of us, Jim(carlo’s great uncle) and Joni, from ohio and their daughter Michelle and Hubby were flown in. Jim’s other son, Dr. Louis was there with Dulce also. They live here in Madison too. And of course, all the usual aunts, uncles, and cousins. Quite a Mother’s day event, and there were several mothers in attendance. And of course, and awesome buffet. (The young cousins felt they found a goldmine in the stickybuns covered in caramel sauce)

And then we drove back home to have Mother’s day dinner with my family, we went to TGIFridays. Somewhere last night I saw pictures of me in my wedding dress. Sigh. Pictures from my first fitting, disheartening. The dress fit so much better than it had when I first bought it… So much better, I felt really good. But then, the photos… I am so overweight. I’ve lost almost 20lbs and I’m still overweight, and fighting to get my weight down. I mean, I’ve lost so much that I look a great deal better than the pictures from Christmas, and Eddie, Michelle’s husband, even commented on it. But I still look huge in my wedding dress. I mean, it’s a large dress(size wise). And it looks big, and sigh. True, I didn’t have my hair or makeup done, but, I just don’t want all my wedding pics to be like that. My family and Carlo think that if I buckle down, and exercise hard, and watch what I eat… I could still lose 12 more lbs. I mean, ultimately I’d still have 50lbs to go after these 12 more lbs. But, on the bright side, it’d be so nice, to finally start turning back the clock on my body. I gained 20 some pounds last year (mostly last fall, due to moving in together stress), just before Christmas… I decided I’d had enough, and joined Weight watchers, and it’s a really good program. When you follow it, weight just melts off, and you end up eating so much healthier. So, I’ve had bad weeks, and good weeks, and ok weeks, but I need to really step it up, and not slip up anymore, and just have good weeks, until the wedding.
We went to the store last night and bought $174 worth of groceries to help both of us trim down.


It just seems insurmountable, though I know its not, having already lost a good amount of weight. But the alternative, is icky. I might scan in the pics after the wedding to show the ickyness. It doesn’t look horrid, just really not good, and sigh. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to be healthy, I want to eat healthy, I want to feel good in a swimsuit, I want to wear a bikini, and be able to shop at any store, and not have to worry about sizes. Not have to laugh that places list small sizes as their Xtra larges. I want to feel totally self confidant.


I have a lot of work to do, to achieve these goals. Any inspirational links, ideas are more than welcome.

Happy May Day


A fresh new month, all clean from the rain, the earth is renewing itself, the grass looks like soft lush versions of peach fuzz and puppy fur.


High above the earth a dream is realized. Dennis Tito, the ‘first’ space tourist, is aboard the International Space Station. I have no clue if he’s a jerk, or hard to travel with. But goodness, he inspires me. If he can go to space, at his age, and well his money, I must still have a chance, somewhere in my future to go. The whole thing is like something out of Heinlein, or Resnick, or Bradbury. A former NASA employee decides he wants to go to space, has the means to do so, and books a flight to the dying Mir. Mir falls earlier in the year, and the Russians decide to honor their agreement to take him to space, mostly because they’ve already spent his twenty million. NASA doesn’t trust/want him there, turns him away from joint training, his kids and family probably resent the fact he’s spending ‘their inheritance’ to follow some crazy dream about being in space.

And now, now he’s really there, he’s weightless, he’s looking down over the whole world, catching a live glimpse of sunlight fading from one corner to the other. Seeing the real brightness of the sun and stars without an atmosphere to blur things up. He’s out there without a horizon, without an up or down.


It’s all too magnificent, even down to the ‘you break it, you buy it’ clause in his contract. It’s too deliciously like all those novels I’ve been reading since childhood.


I can’t fully explain my desire to be out there, to you. It’s close to tears over beauty as I can come. Best of all, my turn is coming ever so closer.


Ah, dreams, what are yours?